Do/did you celebrate your kids growing up or mourn it?

[Jeanye aka neetdesigner]

Bittersweet for me as well. I was very, very sad when my oldest entered high school. That was a HUGE milestone for her and me. She is now 18, out of high school and going to Cosmetology School. My middle one is 16 and the baby is 12. Although I am still a bit sad at each milestone the girls cross, I have to admit that I enjoy my life presently. The freedom, watching the girls become what I have envisioned and dreamed they would. However, I do still long for those times, just every once in awhile, when I could rock them to sleep or nurse them, etc. I still get to see the joy of discovery everyday with them and that is wonderful, just different.

My issue is more so with life in general than just with watching my kids grow up. I LOVE my life. Completely, wholeheartedly, without any doubt LOVE my life. I never want it to end.

[nancyr]

I am so thrilled that my sons are contributing members of society. When they were born I was so sure that they would like their dad and I grow up, go to college and find a profession. However all I asked of God was to help me raise my sons so that they find something they are passionate about and that they would be contributing members of society. I have to tell you I loved when they were young and not in school. I hated those school years! Both boys have learning disabilities and while the local schools tried to help they would not listen to me about what my sons needed to succeed in the school environment. So school years were always fights about school and in particular homework. I dont think was a time even in high school when I did not have to ask if they did their homework. Did I celebrate milestones, yes but it was not the same ones my friends and co-workers children were celebrating. I hated the end of summers because it was back to school and back to fights about school work. I have always regretted that they did not take advantage of the extras offered at the high school. Neither of them wanted stay longer in a setting that made fun of them. It was hard as a parent to watch them struggle at school when it was because they learned differently than most and not because they are stupid. Zach joined the Marines the summer before 9/11 so I was for four years constantly worried for his safety but he found his passion during this time - auto mechanics - and the GI Bill made it possible for him to achieve that goal and find a job and be happy! Chaz was much more of a struggle. He went from job to jr. college to job to finally a technical school for computer technology and he has a job that suits him perfectly. I am so enjoying the men they are now. In NJ it is practically impossible to live on your own with a starting salary so both boys are still home. I love that they go to work and come home tired. LOL For years they always laughed that I went to bed early so I could go to work early and be home for them after school. So no I do not mourn for the good old days.

[MomtoEVE]

Nancy, it is funny how you mentioned learning disablities and fighting with the school. Our middle child has lots of signs of dyslexia but the school is not willing to step in at this point because she is not far enough behind. It is frustrating to say the least to want the best for your child and when you try road blocks are thrown up. I understand why homeschooling has become so prominant in this type of school environment, but I also know that I could not home school my children. I am in the process of finding outside sources of help for our daughter and hope by intervening now rather then when she is even further behind she has a better chance of having a positive school experience.

I am glad that your sons have found fulling jobs and are living a positive life. It tells a lot of the parenting that you gave through all the tough years growing up in school.

[nancyr]

I did find outside help. She was awesome. She would go to the meetings with me. While both of us would say the same thing because she was a PhD and spoke in their language they listened to her. LOL. Many did not want to believe that I as the parent knew better than the teachers. I know that teachers have the toughest job in the world but I also know that different learners do not succeed in mainstream school environments. It was a struggle but I am a better person for it and my sons both know how to fight and to stand up for themselves. I know that you will do a great job for your daughter. We mother lions all protect our cubs.